Sex Advice for High-Desire Spouses

Sex Advice for High-Desire Spouses

Tune  in to your spouse’s needs outside the bedroom

 Is best sex advice for high-desire spouses wanting to get things going again. High-desire people usually try to boost their spouses desire by doing things that would turn themselves on, such as buying sexy lingerie and renting X-rated videos.

However, these actions often don’t work for their spouses, who are more likely to be responsive to loving  behaviors outside the bedroom, such as helping more with the housework and offering more compliments and fewer criticisms. A major turn-on is gardening together.

  • Talk from the heart. Some people talk to their spouses about their sexual unhappiness, but instead of speaking from their hearts—which might prompt their spouses empathy—harsh words are exchanged and tempers flare. Although it’s understandable that unending rejection might lead to anger and resentment, these emotions are not aphrodisiacs. Instead of complaining, say “I miss being close to you physically.  We seem to get along so much better after we make love. I’m hoping that we can be more affectionate this week.”


    Put an end to the disappointment, frustration and embarrassment of...
    Put an end to the disappointment, frustration and embarrassment of…
    Erectile Dysfunction

  • Don’t ignore the problem. If you and your spouse have been arguing about sex, don’t stick your head in the sand. Your differences won’t disappear—the only thing that will disappear is your intimate connection and friendship. There are many excellent resources to help you feel more sexual. Good books include Hot Monogamy: Intimate Lovemaking by Dr. Patricia Love. and my book, The Sex-Starved Marriage:. Also, licensed sex therapists can be found through The American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (
  • Just do it Perhaps you’ve had the experience of not being in the mood when your spouse approached you, but you gave it a try, and once you got into it, you enjoyed it. You’re not alone. There are millions of people who simply don’t experience out-of-the-blue sexy thoughts—unlike their more highly sexed spouses who may have lusty thoughts many times every day.
  • Try this: For the next two weeks, initiate sex twice each week. Also, flirt, call your spouse pet names, dress more provocatively and be more physically affectionate. D0 this whether you feel like it or not. Then carefully watch your spouse for any changes in his behavior. An irritable, withdrawn, uncooperative spouse most likely will become much more fun to be around.


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1 Comment

  • […] If you’re in a sex-starved marriage, you and your spouse need to make some changes. Don’t worry about who takes the lead. Relationships are such that if one person changes, the relationship changes. MORE TOMORROW […]

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